we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
