also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
