when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
