Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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