So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
