I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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