you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
