She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize