I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
