He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
