I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
