the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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