You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
