We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think i got beer on your cat.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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