K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
