so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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