; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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