Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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