i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
