My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
