Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
