there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
