if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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