Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
