I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
