its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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