Barsexuality is the new black.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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