Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
