Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
