I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
