Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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