I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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