THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
