Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
