Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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