"it" just moved
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
