we have officially lost it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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