; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
