Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
