Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
