Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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