If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
