so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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