Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
