its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
