don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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