I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
