i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
