She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
