I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
